How Do You Pick Up The Pieces?

Sometimes I wonder if we ever stood a chance had we not met how we met and met on our own terms, not...

Wed, 22 May 2013 17:01:44 +0800

Sometimes I wonder if we ever stood a chance had we not met how we met and met on our own terms, not carrying any baggage.
I guess I’ll never know, and a part of me will always wonder what if….

Toxic friend

Tue, 21 May 2013 01:12:21 +0800

So there’s this person I know who practices the tough love act which contitutes of shooting the mouth off anything and everything, always has to be right and must have the last word.
We were having a banter on one of the SMN sites, then an hour later, I went to a different site and saw a series of coincidental updates abt our earlier exchange, some of which were pretty harsh. So, since it was coincidental, no harm asking, right?
In reply I got a huge lashing, got insulted. All cos? I asked an innocent question. Regardless of whether I was sensitive or not, there was no reason for that person to go all defensive and throw in some insults. I don’t think that’s what a friend does. I have given that person lots of leeway when that person has said something stupid or harsh, quick to judge but somehow this incident really ticked me off.
And when an apology came in, it started with…LISTEN. Hell no I am gonna even accept it when I am demanded to read it. And as I scrolled down, it was laced with sarcasm, old skeletons and some insults.
I feel bad cutting someone off. Especially when it’s been a long friendship. I am not a bad person. I am not vindictive or confrontational. But what do you do when it’s toxic and brings out the worst in you? Tolerance is one thing, but when you have been pushed to the limit?
What hurts even more is, I may have dragged some other ppl into this, but no one is listening to my side of the story and only comforted that person when shit hit the fan. So now only that person can feel hurt and all but not me? Wow, I never knew standing up for myself could be so wrong. Since when was that even a crime?
And maybe just maybe, I am the one who has grown and think differently now as to them who are still stuck in their bubble. And maybe i just want a clean break from all of them and move forward. And maybe, I could be the one who is in the wrong in this entire situation cos I cut someone toxic out of my life. I can never do anything right can I?

"Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you..."

Mon, 20 May 2013 00:43:31 +0800

“Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don’t always like.”

- Fate is cruel.

Lemony Snicket (via langleav)

I miss you. You have no idea how much I need to have your arms around me now, so that I can feel...

Fri, 17 May 2013 22:06:55 +0800

I miss you. You have no idea how much I need to have your arms around me now, so that I can feel better.
But the fact is even if you may worry about me, you don’t know how to show it or you won’t.

I wish I could. I really really do.

Fri, 17 May 2013 10:29:20 +0800

I wish I could. I really really do.

Downward spiral

Thu, 16 May 2013 00:22:11 +0800

I seem to be on that path to destruction. Myself and everything in my path. And no one cares enough to save me, even if someone did, I wouldn’t want to save me.

It’s been two days since I cut ties with a supposed good friend. 15 years. I have been very forgiving and tolerant. But not when i get insulted repeatedly just cos I thought something refered to me and I asked out of CURIOSITY. Plus they were so coincidental to what we exchanged. So, can you blame me? But anyway, I cut ties, and it seems like everyone is siding with the insulter and the insulted is left alone. And they ask me why i always feel this way, insulted.

It’s ok. I am already on the path to destruction. There are also abnormal cells in my body, could be cancerous or not. Maybe tomorrow will be the day I find out if I will get really sick and prolly self destruct. Better that way isnt it? For me gone.

there’s something charming, sometimes, about a bed that sits on...

Wed, 15 May 2013 22:01:22 +0800

there’s something charming, sometimes, about a bed that sits on the floor. i don’t know why, and i certainly don’t think that it’s inherently telling. but it often gives the impression that maybe a person doesn’t have their shit completely together. i like that.

My bed is on the floor. And i always don’t have my shit together. :)

unfortunately your loose tongue cost you my friendship. Have a good life.

Tue, 14 May 2013 15:17:50 +0800

unfortunately your loose tongue cost you my friendship. Have a good life.

So you who call yourself my friend..first you call me incompetent and you deny it. Now you call me...

Tue, 14 May 2013 01:18:23 +0800

So you who call yourself my friend..first you call me incompetent and you deny it. Now you call me stupid and moronic after our exchange on fb? I can’t say those tweets weren’t coincidental. I wouldn’t believe it.

Sometimes, the friends you let into your life are the ones who treat you like dirt.

Mon, 13 May 2013 00:46:06 +0800

Sometimes, the friends you let into your life are the ones who treat you like dirt.

It’s always going to be you even if we never had a proper date. The cuddling sealed the deal. They...

Sun, 12 May 2013 17:50:00 +0800

It’s always going to be you even if we never had a proper date. The cuddling sealed the deal. They say you can feel it, it’s unexplainable.

I can’t cook, I don’t know what/how many types of beans there are, can’t...

Sun, 12 May 2013 16:10:08 +0800

I can’t cook, I don’t know what/how many types of beans there are, can’t differentiate between my veges, can’t clean, might not have a womb to bear kids cos of my stupidity, don’t have much to offer, not smart enough and so much more.

So tell me, who would want to be with a liability like me? Not me.

Jessica Lowndes- The Last Time (90210 Season 5, episode...

Sun, 12 May 2013 15:17:49 +0800

Jessica Lowndes- The Last Time (90210 Season 5, episode 21)

I’m out of my head
I’m out of my heart
I’ve thought it was over then
Are we back at the start?

Go away in the wind
Turn back and you’re gone
I should just let you go
But I keep holding on.

Was the last time, the last time
Or something new?
I try to pretend
But it’s hard getting over you.

Was the last time, the last time
Or something new?
Not fooling myself
Cause it’s always been you.

Don’t know how to feel
Don’t want you to know
I’m right back here again
Thought I’ve let you go.
Keep asking myself
Is this right or so wrong?
We’ve been through this all before
Is our time really gone?

Was the last time, the last time
Or something new?
I tried to pretend
But it’s hard getting over you.

Was the last time, the last time
Or something new?
Not fooling myself
Cause it’s always been you.

I learn how to live
Without you in my life
Now I can’t see, I can’t dream
Want you here with me.
Oh, let me wake up
To find you by my side.
Could it be…?

I’m out of my head
I’m out of my heart
I thought we were over.

Was the last time, the last time
Or something new?
I try to pretend
But I never got over you.

It’s the last time, the last time
What can I do?
Am I just a fool?

Was the last time, the last time
Or something new?
I don’t wanna pretend
I don’t want this to end.
I guess I never got
Over you..

I need a keyword blocker. Your name keeps popping up. :/

Sat, 11 May 2013 22:44:19 +0800

I need a keyword blocker. Your name keeps popping up. :/

So so so so true right now.

Fri, 10 May 2013 17:17:50 +0800

So so so so true right now.

This…i want this. And the only person that comes to mind...

Fri, 10 May 2013 00:22:39 +0800

This…i want this. And the only person that comes to mind is you when i am supposed to forget you. Sigh. But thanks for calling me today, 46 minutes worth of international call. Wow. Thank you.

I was never a first choice anyway.

Wed, 08 May 2013 23:04:50 +0800

I was never a first choice anyway.

Photo

Wed, 08 May 2013 10:08:08 +0800

bits-of-glitter: ∞•∆•∞ Someone, please tell me this. Or...

Mon, 06 May 2013 14:42:19 +0800

bits-of-glitter:

∞•∆•∞

Someone, please tell me this. Or rather, I want you to tell me I am beautiful. To my face instead of other people.

aud-ler: what i have learned from talking about my feelings it’s better to not talk about my...

Mon, 06 May 2013 14:40:07 +0800

aud-ler:

what i have learned from talking about my feelings

it’s better to not talk about my feelings

Everyone, please leave me alone. I will talk when I am ready to.